"Take it one step at a time, Susan. You got groceries today. On your own. That is good. It has only been one week, and a very unorganized on at that. Much of that was not your fault. People love you and support you, that's all that matters. If anything, this was a trip for you, to show you something about yourself. If you are able to picture yourself going home at any point in this trip and being comfortable with that decision, you have grown. If you are able to learn more in one week than in the rest of the semester, so be it. Each moment, each day is a lesson. Figure out what that lesson is. You're smart, you'll figure it out."
Sometimes it just takes me writing freely to truly understand. I realized that with each second here I am being pushed beyond my comforts, pushed beyond my idealized expectations, and each push takes a little bit out of me, wears me down. I need this grounding force - reflection through writing- to build me back up. I keep thinking of the line from one of Coldplay's songs, "Nobody said it was easy," and that's so right, nobody said this was going to be easy for me. I guess I was thinking that is was.
Hi Susan . Hope you dont mind me following your Blog . I am a friend of Ardis . Your writing talent is impressive. Good luck in your adventure.
ReplyDeleteBrad Palmer
Susie - your insights into what you are going through are amazing and spot on. What you are doing IS hard, and your expectations were fairly 'idealized.' This is definitely a learning process, but a great one for you to have at an age when you are still very young but also old enough to understand and gain from it!
ReplyDeleteLove,
Mom
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ReplyDelete(by the way, Jared didn't write & remove a post above. I was on his laptop and he wasn't signed out of your blog. So when I commented, it looked like it came from him! So I deleted it and will try again!)
ReplyDelete------------------------------------------
Ditto what your Mom said. I have to tell you that I am SO proud of you. Not many people care to get out of their comfort zones. And they never see or learn anything new. You will be all the more stronger for doing this, and I really think that this is possibly just the first step in your world of travel & learning. Just take it one day at a time. This semester will go by so fast. It may not seem like it now, but it will. And remember that you are NOT alone in this! God is ALWAYS with you, wherever you go and whatever you do. Your journal is a good tool, but remember that prayer is a powerful thing too!
We all love you Susie...
Deb
Hello lovely friend!
ReplyDeleteI am so impressed that you update your blog so frequently! I'm excited to be able to keep up on your adventures, even the ones that aren't so easy. I know you will have a fantastic time and meet wonderful people, and though there will be challenging times, I have faith that you will make it through and come back an even more fabulous person than you already are.
Much love,
Lauren